What should you do when you fail??


I just came across a blog that struck a chord in me. For most of my life I have had a constant need for change. And of course this need has interfered with my abilitiy to maintain steady jobs, as well as interest in projects and people.

I lived for years wondering what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t be like everyone else. I was even medicated for it, which caused a myriad of other problems.

I was incredibly smart, talented, and could do virtually everything anyone ever showed me. I could solve complex problems with ease, and won numerous awards in school, although I rarely went and dropped out several times.

It was really frustrating because I wanted to do everything and I wanted to do it all NOW. I used to get so jealous of people who knew what they wanted to do and could stay with one thing. I recognized that I was ADHD many years ago, but other than labelling myself, I didn’t look into it much further.

Being older and wiser now, I’ve discovered some things that have made a world of difference in my life and in the lives of those around me. I want to share these things with you:

1. Life is far more enjoyable when you accept yourself as who you are and stop living to ‘fit in’ or meet the needs/wishes of other people.

2. I can finish things (and now do, even with distractions); AND it is also okay to give up or let go of things, projects, or people who are not serving your best interests (Always be kind, honest, sincere, and NEVER burn bridges)

3. Many projects will still be there later incase they reinterest me at another time.

4. There are jobs that are perfect for people with my skills/traits Like Project Management or Running a Business, etc.

5. ADHD is a gift. So is autism. So are many other ‘disorders’ that are sometimes negatively viewed. The trick is learning how to use these gifts and having supportive people around.

I got a book that’s call ADHD friendly ways to Organize Your Life, and since then (although I never finished it; which is okay), I have been able to get many things done that I wouldn’t have before. I now totally accept that I get extremely easily distracted, and communicate my needs better than ever before.

I still have difficulty with routine tasks (like housework, making meals, and choosing outfits), but am comfortable enough to ask for assistance now when needed.

It’s funny. I didn’t intend this to be an ADHD blog, but oh well; I’ll go with it.
I was just chuckling to myself because, although it’s frustrating at times, it takes me hours to get myself and my children dressed, fed and ready for the day; but if you gave me a complex problem or stuck me in the middle of a crises, I’d be able to put together , a practical solution extremely quickly and communicate it to involved parties, even if it incorporated numerous resources, variables, and obstacles.

Things that would take many people days, I can do in minutes or hours; but seemingly simple tasks are tedious and difficult for me. It makes me wish I never had to get dressed, cook or clean and that I could spend all of my time solving problems and delegating tasks. Either way, it is what it is. And this article is supposed to be about what you should do when you fail.

So, since I’ve failed more times than most people I’ve ever met, I believe I’ve now become an expert on the topic. In a nutshell; accept the failure and make a choice. Either move on, put it on the back burner, or try again.

Make sure you communicate with others about your failure and how you intend to deal with it. As long as you accept what is, and make a conscious choice; you won’t feel bad about it and can move on easily. And since you’ve communicated it with others, you won’t carry around the feeling of being a failure ‘in other people’s eyes’. You’ve brought it to the open and they can’t say anything about it. In fact, even if they do, they most likely admire your courage and honesty.

The reality is: Everyone fails. It’s usually the people who don’t admit it that feel the most pain from it. So, accept what is, make a choice, and enjoy failing forward. : )

Princess PW

PS–I wrote about failing today because I failed in my ‘No spending money for a year game’, and in continually blogging for 365 consecutive days. I have continued my quest, but without wordpress alongside me. Talk soon. Take care!

Day 47~Vinegar Works Wonders

I use vinegar to clean most of my house.  Not only is it cheap; It cleans AMAZINGLY, and is safe for my kids and pets…Well, most of my pets.

Unfortunately, my hermit crabs don’t like it so much.  In fact, my youngest daughter was caught today with the vinegar spritzer in hand, spraying the inside of the hermit crab tank.  Yeah, I don’t think they like that.

I immediately cleaned up the vinegar that I could get to, and am praying that there wasn’t much sprayed in.  There was a lot of vinegar around and under the tank, though.  And the tank is now super-shiny and clean.

Either way, as interesting as I find hermit crabs.  If they happen to ‘kick the bucket’, and go to crab heaven; I can’t see myself purchasing more.  As I’m on a ‘Spendingless Spree’ and Not Spending Money for a Year, it would go against my goals.  I would just sell the hermit crab paraphernalia and give the tank back to my brother.  One less thing in my cluttered house.

Did I happen to mention how much less clutter I have around the house now that I’m not spending money?  The correlation between spending and clutter in my life has become apparent.

Well, that’s it for today.  If my crabs live, I’ll let you know.  =D

Princess PW

Day 42~Splurging is Sometimes Necessary

Staying within the guidelines of my “No Spending Money for a Year” Game Rules, I am only allowed to ‘spend’ money that I receive that is unexpected.  For example, I had a parent drop off an extra child last week, who I don’t usually babysit.

The money from this is unexpected.  It gets split up into 2 parts.  20% goes into my savings, and the rest is my ‘spending money’.  Since most of my income is not from ‘unexpected sources’, I rarely have any spending money.

So today before school, I took my daughter to McDonalds.  I wanted Tim Hortons; she wanted McDonalds.  But, since the trip out was more for her than for me, I let her decide.

We ordered 2 hot chocolates, and sipped them together while finishing her homework.  Today is her last day at her school before being transferred to a new one.  And I wanted to make it special.  It also had to fit into the cost restraints of my ‘No Spending Money for a Year’ Game.

All in all, it cost me less than $5.  My daughter and I had a wonderful experience.  I feel like I splurged.  It feels great!  The feeling of splurging is psychologically necessary at times.  Treating yourself and your family to things every so often is important.  It encourages a feeling of worth and abundance, instead of one of scarcity and jealousy.  And if you can do it without breaking the bank, you’re well ahead of the game!

So, go out and have a little treat!  Just don’t dip into your savings, or money that is needed for other things in order to do so.

Remember; a treat is something that you get or do infrequently.  If you get or do it regularly, it’s a habit; and is less likely to fulfill your psychological needs.

I’ve often say that ‘Money is a Mental Game’ and this is another example.  =D

Have a terrific day!!

Princess PW

Day 37~The Cheapest Baby Shower Gift Ever

My cousin-in-law is throwing a baby shower for her sister-in-law.  And I’m invited.  It’s less than a week away and I just got the invitation today.  Here’s my first baby shower challenge.  How will I give a gift the mom-to-be will like without spending a dime?

The first thing I did was ask around for her phone number.  I let people know why I wanted to call her.  I also asked for suggestions.  And I got some good ones.  Here’s what people told me to do:

  • Clean, press, and box up some hand-me-down baby clothes.  I have everything to do that already, and apparently the mom will be ‘tickled pink’ even to have nice hand-me-downs.  Even if they were free for me.
  • Make a scrapbook or baby album that baby photos can be easily added by the parents.  This is more of my sister-in-law’s forte.  I have the materials, but kind of suck at making keepsakes people will like.
  • Frozen dinners (home made) for a week.  The week the baby is brought home is going to be a hectic one.  So, I can make some food for the soon-to-be sleep-deprived parents to have on hand.
  • Make a video of the baby-shower for the parents-to-be.  I’d create a card and envelope explaining why I’m there with a video camera.  : )
  • Make a paper mache piggy bank to get the child started off with savings.  This is cute in theory, but will have to take some extra work and special care to make sure it’s sturdy and not ugly.  I could probably make a really good, solid piggy bank; even an attractive one.

These are just 5 of the money saving gift ideas for this shower.  I think I’ll do the first and test out the last.  Who knows?  If I can make a really good, free paper mache piggy bank; then that opens up a whole bunch of other free gift ideas I can do for other occasions!

I could even give kids paper mache kits.  I’d have newspaper pre-cut into strips, a bag of flour, a large yogurt container, plastic stirring spoon, etc.  I’m sure you get the picture.  And kids would love it.  Although, I’m not quite sure if the parents would.  lol

The more I do this, the easier it gets to come up with free gift ideas and fun things for the family to do.  We’ve spent a lot of time at the park lately.  It’s fun and free.  The best part is, I’m connecting with my family more and starting to feel like a kid again!

Princess PW

Day 30~Beer is Not on My List

My boyfriend asked me today to pick up some beer for some people who are helping us move.  Now I have a dilemma.  Beer is not considered a regular grocery item.  Therefore, it doesn’t fit into the “No Spending Money for a Year Game”.

How can I get beer for the guys who are helping us with our move??   Hmmm…

I’m allowed to buy regular grocery items while doing the ‘No Spending Money for a Year Game’.  Maybe I can make a few extra meals for someone who wants to pick up beer for us.  It can be like a small potluck, but instead of people bringing food dishes, I’ll make the food, and people can bring beer.  : )

Who knows?  It’s a little extra work on my part, but I’ve been working my butt off lately anyways.  What’s one more task??

Today, I painted at the new house and cleaned out the bathrooms and basement.  I’m beat!  Tomorrow, we’re all getting up super early and packing the rest of the house.  Good times.

I’m looking forward to this being the last move I’ll make for a few years.

And when we’re all moved in, I’m going to have to do something special for my boyfriend.  He made me an awesome dinner and brought it over to the new house for me while I was painting.  What a sweetheart!

If you’ve got any ideas on something nice I could do for my boyfriend, let me know.  It’s a little tough sometimes to plan dates when I can’t spend any money.  It’s been almost a month that I’ve been doing this and some days are pretty tough.  I’m still optimistic though.

Princess PW

Day 28~I Feel Like I’m Cheating!!

I’ve been working at the new place for the past few days; fixing it up and getting it ready to move into.  It’s starting to look nice, but my money is running low.  I don’t like that.  I’ve put forth some money for materials and labour to fix up the house, but will be getting fully reimbursed over the weekend.

In the meantime, it feels like I’m going against my ‘No Spending For a Year’ rules.  Technically, I’m still following the rules because I am getting a return on my investment that is more than 10%.  It’s more than 10% because I am getting my money back plus I will be able to rent part of the house easier because it will be nice and clean.

But, since I enjoyed ‘shopping’ for materials, and my bank account has less in it than before, I feel like I’m cheating.  I’m sure it will all be back to normal when I get my money back on Saturday.  And I will feel better about it then too.

My landlord gave me a seriously small budget to have the entire house painted and the carpets cleaned.  He also spent some time getting quotes.  But, everyone who gave him quotes gave him much higher estimates than they gave me (by a few hundred dollars).  I don’t know if it’s because my negotiating skills are better; if it’s because I’m from the area; or because they know that I am the tenant, and not the owner.  But, for whatever reason, I feel good about getting professional work for such good prices.

And since I’m very interested in renovation project management, I’m sure I’ll be able to pass on some referrals to these companies when I hear of anyone needing their services.  They help me out; I help them out.  It works for everyone.

I can’t believe it’s almost midnight, though.  Since it is and I have to get to work just after 5am, I am going to keep this short and fill you in on the house and money details again tomorrow!  Have a good sleep!

Princess PW

Day 24~Feeling The Pressure!

Eek! I am starting to feel the pressure of all of the changes happening in my life. A few things are on my mind, and need to be sorted out ASAP. I don’t have a lot of time left.

I need to get a car. I need to get the other house painted. I need to get furniture for the other house (living room and one bedroom). I need to find one other decent tenant to rent the other bedroom; and all by the end of the month. Not to mention the fact that I need to work my a#$ off this week for the project I’m doing for the not-for-profit group AND I have little people with me who ALWAYS get into things.  I also still need to pack the house and move in for next weekend!  WOW!

The funny part is that I’m doing all of this without spending. LOL Like I said before, I love challenges.  Sometimes, I laugh at the situations I get myself into, because I know there is always an end to the challenges.  So, I don’t stress too much.

Here are my ideas about the problems I’m facing right now and how they relate to time and/or money:

1. How to get the house painted:  The landlord has a small budget for paint, but I will have to do almost all of the painting in the 2700 square foot house.  I’m good, but not fast.  So, I need to choose the most important rooms and start with them.  They will be the living room, and two of the tenants bedrooms.

I’ll have to get someone to look after my kids while I paint; or find a way to keep them out of the paint.  It’s my youngest I’m worried about.  She still eats paint.  And the carpets in the house are almost all white, so I am paranoid about her spilling it.

I may rent a paint sprayer, and learn how to use it because an entire house is a lot to paint if I don’t have much time.

As for the costs, I’ll have to barter babysitting services with another mother so that I don’t have to pay for childcare.  I’ll watch her kids in return later.  The paint and supplies will be paid for by my landlord.

2. How to get furniture for the living room and bedroom: I haven’t gotten this one figured out yet.  I want to have a nice house that flows, and attracts and keeps tenants (because that is my main source of income).  It’s not quite yard sale time yet.  I have $25 of ‘unexpected income’ that I am allowed to spend, but $10 of that is going to go towards transportation.  That only leaves me with $15.

So, the only way I can purchase the furniture is if I find another source of income to cover it.  That’s where the additional tenant comes in.  My dilemma is that I need nice furniture asap to be able to rent to another tenant.  I have some cash on hand that I could put forth for this AS LONG AS it comes back almost right away.  But, I need to make sure I find a suitable tenant too.  I don’t want to necessarily take the first person who comes along.

I’ll be spending some time today looking at used furniture ads on Kijiji and Craigslist.  If it’s something that’s easily paintable, that’s an extra bonus.  If it already matches, and no painting is required, even better.

3. How to get a car: I drove by a few used car lots yesterday and had a crazy, but very possible idea.  I just need to talk to some car lot owners or managers.  I need a car for four months only.  They have a lot of cars just sitting in their lots.  I don’t do a lot of driving, and have a perfect driving record.  Why don’t I just ask around and see who’s interested in partnering up for a short term lease?  At least they can make a little money off of the car and still sell it in the summer.  There won’t be many kilometers put on and it will be maintained well over the four months.  Why not?  It’s worth asking.

Renting the additional room will pay for the car for the four months.  And then when I no longer need it, the money from the tenant will be added to my monthly cashflow.

Wow!  One thing I love about blogging is that it helps me sort my thoughts!  I was feeling so pressured a few minutes ago about money and rushing.  And now, I feel only rushed and less concerned about the money part.  I just created a kind of roadmap for me to follow regarding the house, car, money, and tenants.  I feel SO much better!

So, I’ll look around for furniture right now and later today, gather paints and supplies, and find childcare.

I’ll go paint the house, and move in the furniture I find so I can take pictures and post for tenants.  Then, I’ll finish packing and move the rest of the furniture.  I’ll borrow a car throughout the week to drive around and ask car lots about the possibility of a short term lease.  There are lots of cars, and lots of lots; so someone is bound to rent one to me.  And I will make sure I have a tenant before I sign onto any car deal.  : )

Time to leave for my adventure!!  Bye for now!

Princess PW

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