What should you do when you fail??


I just came across a blog that struck a chord in me. For most of my life I have had a constant need for change. And of course this need has interfered with my abilitiy to maintain steady jobs, as well as interest in projects and people.

I lived for years wondering what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t be like everyone else. I was even medicated for it, which caused a myriad of other problems.

I was incredibly smart, talented, and could do virtually everything anyone ever showed me. I could solve complex problems with ease, and won numerous awards in school, although I rarely went and dropped out several times.

It was really frustrating because I wanted to do everything and I wanted to do it all NOW. I used to get so jealous of people who knew what they wanted to do and could stay with one thing. I recognized that I was ADHD many years ago, but other than labelling myself, I didn’t look into it much further.

Being older and wiser now, I’ve discovered some things that have made a world of difference in my life and in the lives of those around me. I want to share these things with you:

1. Life is far more enjoyable when you accept yourself as who you are and stop living to ‘fit in’ or meet the needs/wishes of other people.

2. I can finish things (and now do, even with distractions); AND it is also okay to give up or let go of things, projects, or people who are not serving your best interests (Always be kind, honest, sincere, and NEVER burn bridges)

3. Many projects will still be there later incase they reinterest me at another time.

4. There are jobs that are perfect for people with my skills/traits Like Project Management or Running a Business, etc.

5. ADHD is a gift. So is autism. So are many other ‘disorders’ that are sometimes negatively viewed. The trick is learning how to use these gifts and having supportive people around.

I got a book that’s call ADHD friendly ways to Organize Your Life, and since then (although I never finished it; which is okay), I have been able to get many things done that I wouldn’t have before. I now totally accept that I get extremely easily distracted, and communicate my needs better than ever before.

I still have difficulty with routine tasks (like housework, making meals, and choosing outfits), but am comfortable enough to ask for assistance now when needed.

It’s funny. I didn’t intend this to be an ADHD blog, but oh well; I’ll go with it.
I was just chuckling to myself because, although it’s frustrating at times, it takes me hours to get myself and my children dressed, fed and ready for the day; but if you gave me a complex problem or stuck me in the middle of a crises, I’d be able to put together , a practical solution extremely quickly and communicate it to involved parties, even if it incorporated numerous resources, variables, and obstacles.

Things that would take many people days, I can do in minutes or hours; but seemingly simple tasks are tedious and difficult for me. It makes me wish I never had to get dressed, cook or clean and that I could spend all of my time solving problems and delegating tasks. Either way, it is what it is. And this article is supposed to be about what you should do when you fail.

So, since I’ve failed more times than most people I’ve ever met, I believe I’ve now become an expert on the topic. In a nutshell; accept the failure and make a choice. Either move on, put it on the back burner, or try again.

Make sure you communicate with others about your failure and how you intend to deal with it. As long as you accept what is, and make a conscious choice; you won’t feel bad about it and can move on easily. And since you’ve communicated it with others, you won’t carry around the feeling of being a failure ‘in other people’s eyes’. You’ve brought it to the open and they can’t say anything about it. In fact, even if they do, they most likely admire your courage and honesty.

The reality is: Everyone fails. It’s usually the people who don’t admit it that feel the most pain from it. So, accept what is, make a choice, and enjoy failing forward. : )

Princess PW

PS–I wrote about failing today because I failed in my ‘No spending money for a year game’, and in continually blogging for 365 consecutive days. I have continued my quest, but without wordpress alongside me. Talk soon. Take care!

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